Author Topic: VTIPY A FLIPY (Read 933794 times)

fakovnik · « **Reply #6750 on:** 28.04.2011, 03:27:49 »

Dobry

v_oid · « **Reply #6751 on:** 28.04.2011, 03:39:16 »

Quote from: ApokalypS on 28.04.2011, 01:45:32

väčšiu hlúposť som nevidel, o ničom vtip

+1

ked uz chcete daco k velkej noci:

sri · « **Reply #6752 on:** 28.04.2011, 23:21:07 »

Vcera som pocul dva dost dobre, ale TROSKU vulgarne vtipy (komu taky humor nevyhovuje nech necita dalej

) :

Stretnu sa Duro a Jano.
Duro: Pocuj povedz "lod".
Jano: Lod.
Duro: Lod, lod, do pici chod.
Jano: Noooo toto je dobreeee, to som este nepocul, to musim povedat doma zene. Pride domov a hovori zene:
Pocuj zena, povedz lod.
Zena na to: lod...
A Jano:Lod, lod, chod do pici...

-----

Pridze redaktor na rusnacku dzedzinu, za jednu babku a pita še jej:
- Babka čo robíte?
A babka že:
- Ta piču !
- Babka ako to rozprávate?
- Što bisiduješ chlopčik? ja piču kolački ...

plexisklo · « **Reply #6753 on:** 01.05.2011, 02:58:24 »

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (As he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes,
father." Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he pumped me fast and furious..."
Priest: The priest pumps her fast and says "Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "Ahh... Thats no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

btw apo a void,este ze vas mam,inak by som nevedel co je vtipne a co nie

sri · « **Reply #6754 on:** 01.05.2011, 04:29:36 »

- Why do Java programmers wear glasses?
- Because they don't C#

ApokalypS · « **Reply #6755 on:** 01.05.2011, 18:29:25 »

Quote from: plexisklo on 01.05.2011, 02:58:24

..
btw apo a void,este ze vas mam,inak by som nevedel co je vtipne a co nie

lebo nevies, co je vtipne

kOsTi · « **Reply #6756 on:** 01.05.2011, 18:54:01 »

vtip je vec nazoru, tak mozes povedat co tebe nepride vtipne, ale to neznamena ze to nie je vtipne vseobecne

domino3d · « **Reply #6757 on:** 01.05.2011, 20:05:48 »

bitka bitka

plexisklo · « **Reply #6758 on:** 01.05.2011, 20:22:16 »

uz som vcera mal jednu

Ing. nemtom · « **Reply #6759 on:** 01.05.2011, 20:22:57 »

keby tam nebol jezis nepovie ani slovo

nighthunter · « **Reply #6760 on:** 02.05.2011, 00:49:40 »

uzavrime to takto:

Luk1 · « **Reply #6761 on:** 07.05.2011, 19:16:55 »

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=2012382155067#&comments

fakovnik · « **Reply #6762 on:** 09.05.2011, 23:52:30 »

chcem

Brand · « **Reply #6763 on:** 11.05.2011, 22:30:17 »

excellent · « **Reply #6764 on:** 12.05.2011, 14:00:26 »

IT'S FRIED EGG. FRIED EGG

sri · « **Reply #6765 on:** 14.05.2011, 00:29:46 »

A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... then the reality of the situation hit him.

"What the hell amI doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift, and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer